CELLAR DOOR
VERSE 1
I canʼt see within the smoke in my life, yo
Heart beats but Iʼm hoping it dies, yo
I canʼt keep my emotions alive,
When I open my eyes I see you folks in disguise, yo I canʼt breathe, thereʼs no open and wide arms Thatʼll reach me, Iʼm too broken to try
I canʼt keep utilising only hope to survive Im afloat on a boat in an ocean of lies, yo Sick of every time that I wake up
Feels like my mind isnʼt made up
Iʼm a soldier waiting for a saviour
I aimed for the stars but half way I just gave up
I really really think I have felt love
But it only ever happened in a dream once
She pulled me close and she told me to keep up
Heartʼs beating together, I remember saying “Jesus!”
Itʼs just a moment in memory
So I guess that is all itʼd ever be
A flicker of hope, a picture or quote to help you give it a go
To keep you living with some energy
My third wish would be to go to sleep
My second is, I really hope you would leave
Which only leave the first,
Because Iʼm so alone, it means I only wish that you would notice me, huh? Always with the what ifʼs what now?
I really wanna stop this, stop how?
I really need a friend in the end
Iʼve no-one cause by appearance alone I get shot down
Sorry Mumma but I grew up to be different
Doesnʼt mean I have to carry all these thoughts Iʼve been given
Now Iʼm up on top the couch with a gun in my mouth
They say itʼs hard to pull the trigger, well it is, but it isnʼt
CHORUS
You can feel woes on the wind
Sending chills like a freeze frame
Like a forest when a trees fall down
No-ones near, no-one hears, no-one see pain Can you fathom how we clawed up dirty?
Always carry what we saw from early
Never mattered, we were torn from the start
Ainʼt no walk in the park, and then weʼre called unworthy
VERSE 2
Iʼm my own worst enemy
Self sabotage and it starts in me mentally
The voices in my head, forever dark, I need therapy
I want to shut them out but theyʼre a part of my identity
All the jealousy, the hate and displacement
Mistakes that I make are from my rage and impatience
And so for the sake of the statement
Just picture me chained, locked up in a cage down a basement I need to pre-prep my memory
Because it seems like it resets my memories
So my enemies are always three steps ahead of me
Cause I easily forgive because I donʼt remember anything
A defence mechanism intercepts what Iʼm feeling
And forgets that itʼs healing
And rejects what is real and
So Iʼm left with the feeling of regret
So I go ahead and wreck my apartment to the ceiling
They call it noting but rage, I call it caged
They call it lost, I call it a phase
They call it as no direction but I call it a maze
And you can call it what you want but I recall how Iʼm raised And the pain from the past doesnʼt change it enlarges
The angels above flew away
So I canʼt even escape, am I sane?, I am stuck
And I canʼt trade away all my anger for love,
Iʼm exhausted
To the point I donʼt feel itʼs important
Why the hell didnʼt I get aborted
Why the hell am I here?
It is clear that I donʼt feel like myself every morning
And Im cornered, the darkness impedes
Why is it getting harder to breathe?
Iʼm sick of wearing just a heart on my sleeve
So Iʼll cut my arm off so I can laugh as it bleeds
CHORUS
You can feel woes on the wind Sending chills like a freeze frame Like a forest when a trees fall down
No-ones near, no-one hears, no-one see pain
Can you fathom how we clawed up dirty?
Always carry what we saw from early
Never mattered, we were torn from the start
Ainʼt no walk in the park, and then weʼre called unworthy